“Do I have to?”

Cue the whine.

I’m reminded of growing up, when my mom was away on a Saturday, she would leave us with a list of the things we needed to do.

It felt great checking off item after item and I’m sure it was her way of trying to save her sanity upon returning to the house.

One particular day though, everyone was slow to get started.

-well, maybe it was just me-

Since big sister was in charge, she sought me out in the backyard and took it upon herself to use force. Unfortunately for her, I had already learned the “go limp” strategy. (If you’ve seen the TV show Psych, you may know what I mean – they call it “going boneless” – google it if you could use a good laugh).

Flashback to being slowly tugged across the backyard into the house where the list awaited us.

Fast forward to adulting.

I don’t have anyone to make my lists for me (boo) or to drag me towards the tasks I know I NEED to get done (double boo).

But I still feel the overwhelming sensation at times to “go limp” and give up.

Its all too much. There are too many things to do. The list never ends. My ducks are scattered all over the place and I’m pretty sure one of them is a chicken.

It can be pretty easy to get swept up in the overwhelm and enter into a state of FREEZE. Where do I start? What comes first? What takes precedence? How do I manage my time?

This has been especially daunting for me now as I’m branching out on a completely different work structure. Here are some of the tidbits that have helped me pick myself up off the ground and start knocking things off of my list – – most days 😉

1. The List – “Top Three”

This is a combination brain dump and organized “To Do”. Find a piece of paper, a notepad, or a whiteboard (grab whatever is most convenient – we don’t need to get stuck before we even get started!)

Just start writing out all of the things that your brain is telling you you HAVE TO DO. Don’t worry about time frames, deadlines, context (home/work/fun/etc) or anything – that’s why its called a “brain dump” – just THROW it all on the page.

Once you get it all written out, take a long hard look at everything on the page. PICK 3. Yes. Just three.

What are THREE things on that list that MUST get done TODAY? What are the THREE things on that list that would leave you feeling like you’ve WON the day? What are the three you VALUE the most?

This will help focus your energy, give you a clearer place to start, and make you feel accomplished after you check them off. Use THE SAME list and just choose a different TOP THREE the next day, or recreate the list each day.

Personally, I review my list at the end of the day or at the beginning of the next day (because I feel extra awesome when I check off my top three and SUPER DUPER awesome when I check off MORE than my top three – yey ME!)

2. Eat the Frog

This prolly hits a little oddly, but this is a productivity trick that basically just means: Do the hardest task first.

We all have that thing that we want to do DAILY but we put it off, and put it off, and put it off…and then our entire day we’re plagued with recognizing that we “STILL HAVEN’T DONE” the thing yet.

For me its exercise. I KNOW I will feel better afterward. I KNOW its a great way to take care of my body. I KNOW doing it will give me a productivity boost.

And yet…

Another reason I like this one is because it makes a great mantra, “Just eat the damn frog.” It hits like a nice little kick in the pants, but sounds funny so leaves me feeling amused instead of annoyed.

3. Habit Stack

With habit stacking, you identify a habit you already do and attach another habit to it.

I had to do this when I started taking my hypothyroid medication. I kept forgetting, and since my thyroid basically went completely kaput after having my son…I really needed to remember that little blue pill (no, not that one).

So, I thought, “What is something I do at the same time, every day?”

The first thing I do every morning before getting out of bed is put my glasses on. So, that is the habit I stacked it with. My med bottle sits right there and my brain has started to think “med” as I grab my glasses and put them on my face.

Disclaimer: It took a bit of trial and error to sort this out & train myself – – but that is exactly how this stuff works! Give yourself grace and the opportunity for learning.

4. Pair Up

This one is almost as fun as “eating the frog”…wait…its way more fun. With this approach, you PAIR a desired item/action with an undesired item/action.

Identify what on your list you really DO NOT enjoy doing and pair it with something you DO enjoy.

For example, cleaning – like whole house cleaning – always makes me feel stressed. As if guests are about to come over and judge me twelve ways from Sunday so let’s go, go, go…hurry, hurry, hurry!!

I don’t know…but there is this sense of urgency and almost doomsday-ness that comes over me (I have some ideas about where that comes from – – but that’ll have to be another post).

So, I grab a set of noise-cancelling, over the ear headphones (feels like a hug for my brain) and play some music. I go with the relaxing, instrumental, meditation or nature tracks BUT my daughter loves to rock out to some pop music or Disney tunes (when she’s tackling her cleaning jobs).

Pairing these two together has actually made this process SO much more enjoyable and WAY less stress-inducing – – for me and for the household that I’m tornadoing through!

5. Give it time

I feel like we often hear it takes 3 weeks or 30 days or whatever the “going” time frame is to make something a habit.

This is bullshit. Yeah, I said it.

The truth is that the amount of “time it takes” varies! Each person is different, each person’s context is different, and each individual habit is different.

Honestly, throwing the timeline out the window, was the first step towards dropping the perfectionist approach I was using…

You know the one…

The one that catapults you on a track towards impending failure.

Allow imperfection.

Your goal is a “life-style” change, not a “quick fix.” This means you have YOUR LIFE to sort through and figure out what works FOR YOU.

This helped me get out of the UNPRODUCTIVE cycle of self-shaming that had me wallowing for days or months about how I “failed” again and instead had me “back at it” after a day or two depending on what got in the way of the routine I was trying to create.

Just Give it a Try

Try these strategies, try new strategies, make adjustments, throw out what you don’t like, add what you do. You can read all of the “how to” lists that are out there, but ultimately none of it will really work for you if you don’t ADJUST IT to YOUR STYLE and YOUR NEEDS.

Start listening to YOURSELF as much as (or MORE THAN) “the experts”. Your body has a lot to tell you.

Alright friends, that’s all for now.

Talk soon.